To My Kids

I can't find the name of this poet, which makes me sad, because I would really like to thank them for so eloquently expressing what I cannot.
The betrayal of my adult children is bewildering and unconscionable. My son has estranged himself from me and my family for almost twenty years, and I do know, in some measure, how it started. It began with his toxic wife, who one Aunt kindly described as "a mess". I would perhaps characterize her as overly dark, or even downright evil. My daughter's treachery to me and my family is appalling, however, in hindsight it could have been anticipated, given her propensity to go with the flow that would benefit her the most. She tore herself from us during our sister's covid illness and death, choosing to hitch her wagon to sister's abusive, cheating, narcissistic, bible-thumping husband. It will soon be three years since my daughter's infidelity, and I truly no longer question what I did to cause it, I've realized that it is all on her. 
I'm writing this as a challenge to my kids: to answer my questions, and to justify their betrayals. To my son: describe to me exactly what kind of a monster you think I am. What hideous beast do you see that others do not? And when did that start? I know the exact timing but would love to hear your perspective. Why were you never my champion against distain?
To my daughter: WTF? Explain yourself and your behavior. Family loyalty has never been your strong suit, at least not to the maternal side, and I want to know your motives. Why were you never my champion against distain?
Why did they betray me, my sisters, and my family? I will listen to their explanation, if they first pay heed to my side of the story. I'm not sure either one has the emotional and moral strength to comprehend truths, it's much easier to swallow a mythomaniac's rantings. I want a direct confrontation, not this childish ghosting. I don't expect agreement, if they decide to go on about their merry way without me in their life, that's okay, at least they would know my truths. If they won't hear my narrative of our estrangement in private, I have no choice but to put it out there on social media, (and if this goes on without resolution, in my obituary) so that those who know me will understand that my own children's disloyalty and cruelty is not a reflection on me, but on their own brokenness.

Like Judy Kay says, "I feel ya, Grandma".

“It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.” – Unknown