In the Dark of the Night

I have a good timeline regarding Kathy's mental breakdown: for one thing, I grew up with her and know her personality like the back of my hand. She was my sister and was no angel. None of us are, including you two. Kathy had a wild, angry, and controlling side, fundamentally opposed to her religious persona, and there was little moderation in-between the two extremes. At least three times in their marriage Kathy left Joe, and each time he followed her and promised to change if she would only take him back. First time she moved to California after their big fire, Joe was supposed to stay behind and sell in St. Joe. After a couple of weeks he followed, she let him try to sell (he failed spectacularly) and had an affair with a black girl Kathy had hired for the office. Then she moved to Minnesota with Judy and Kevin, wasn't too long before Joe followed. While there he asked Kevin if he wanted to "wife swap". Kevin said he'd be okay with that (he was kidding), but Judy would not. Ewww (you did know they were swingers, right?). Third time Kathy stayed with grandma and grandpa in Wellsville, ready to finally divorce the asshole. Of course, he moved right in after a month, not welcomed at all. Grandma was so relieved when they left, and grandpa said, "Don't care much for Joe."
I have an old computer (Vista OS) that I can still get my old emails on, from 2008-2017. There are over 5,000 emails, both received and sent, and I have been going through them. Joe said that we never helped out with any of Kathy's surgeries, I reminded him otherwise. I was there for two of them, along with Judy - and lots of emails from Kathy telling us not to come up, as we had jobs and critters to take care of. How many of Shannon's surgeries was Joe there for? Did he help take care of Judy's surgeries, do you even know what they are? Or my health scares? Did he even say "I'm sorry" to me and Judy when our best friends died? Or when I lost my best friend Pam Walker, Nickel, Buckshot, and Ellie May in the span of 7 months? Kathy knew, but I didn't hear a peep from him. Do you think we only exist to help Joe with his burdens? Yes, they helped some with you kids, but in the dark of the night there was nobody but me to fix stomach aches, sore muscles, fevers, fears and sadness - all the hardships of raising kids by yourself. That's over 5,475 nights in the fifteen years that I lived up north, and I didn't expect anybody to do it but me. Was Joe there when James was tweaking and I was getting two hours of sleep a night, while working and drowning in the sea of debt and misery he created? Did I ask him to come help load my sick, old dog into the truck on his almost weekly trips to the vet, or did he sit with me when I had to have Nickel put to sleep? Of course not. But I did take care of two of their dogs when they needed me too. When I couldn't get off work to come up to St. Joe to help Kathy out when Joe wanted to go to a funeral, don't you think I was upset about that? But he was there, he could surely make that sacrifice for his wife, couldn't he? Several of the hundreds of emails from Kathy is of the time she spent at my house; it was 2017 before one of the races. She came over a day before Amy and Judy could make it, and we spent hours talking about everything. Kathy slept on my old Morris recliner, and in the email I received after the races she thanked me, and said the chair was so comfortable, and how my house and life was so peaceful. Living with an alcoholic or meth addict is truly a living hell, and finding a moment's peace is priceless. I told her that when she decided to get away, she could stay with me as long as she wanted, I could make the house handicap accessible, and we did make tentative plans. It was Kathy's Plan B.
Larry Tracy is one of the most unevolved people I know, except maybe for Terry Bivins. In one email we exchanged I had been telling Kathy about Bivins and his response to my cry for help with James' meth addiction, and she said, "Welcome to father-in-law hell!" She said that someday she would let us read the letter Larry wrote to her, how nasty and hateful it was. All of the women closest to Kathy know how she felt about Larry and Carley, and it breaks my heart to know that they were at her death bed, and she was defenseless to stop them. I blame them for their part in creating that anguish.